Here, Not Here

I have been absent. This is a hard post for me and it has taken me a while to write this.

The Tuesday after my daughter left for home, I was putting things back into place (you all know how it is when you have company) and just trying to stay as busy as possible so the quiet of the house wouldn't get to me. I heard a funny noise in the dog yard and looked out the window and thought it was just my German Shepherd being goofy. Then I saw my other daughter's dog look funny and then go running out there. I thought I had better investigate.

I got out there just in time to see my Shepherd hovering over my 13 + year old Jack Russell and biting at her. So I yelled at her I can't repeat the words I yelled. She immediately dropped her and I ran over. My little Tootsie was limp, I thought she was dead. I picked her up and ran in the house with her, kicking at the shepherd as I went by her.

I called my daughter and told her to get over here, I need help. She came and in the meantime Tootsie kind of came around. When my daughter got here, she found a vet close by and we went down there. Since she was in shock and the doctor didn't want to move her too much, because of where her obvious wounds were, she gave her pain meds and a muscle relaxer to make her comfortable through the night. I got NO sleep. I set Tootsie up in a box with soft stuff to cradle her so she wouldn't move too much, but she would yip on and off all night.

We took her back in the morning and left her so the vet could check her over more thoroughly. When she called me later that morning, the news was not great. Basically she could fix everything, but Toots had a chipped vertebrae and it was dislocated, plus some muscle damage and the wounds. The doctor said she would always have problems with her neck and I was thinking as old as Tootsie is and still being the jumpy active little goof ball she is, I could not put her through all the pain of surgery knowing that it all would not get her back to what she was before. I told the vet that we would not be making her suffer.

I called the kids, told them what was going on and my youngest told me to wait until she got over here from Seattle. (Two and a half hours away) She had been with this dog half of her life and needed to say goodbye.

In the meantime, the shepherd has been locked up in her kennel with only the bare necessities. I couldn't even look at her. She has had this penchant for biting other dogs and had sent my daughter's dog to the vet last year. This was her third strike, so Monday, I had the vet euthanize her. I couldn't pass her on to someone else with a clear conscience, nor could I ever take another chance with the other small dogs on my farm, or the neighbors who walk their dogs across the street. She had to go.

So I have lost two of my dogs within a week and I am trying to adjust to life without. It's hard, it's sad. it's maddening. Luckily, I have my Max, who is an absolute clown and Bella who is just a sweet little shy girl. They have been hanging pretty close to me and being a really great support system. Plus, I get calls for all my family  asking how I am doing, letting me know they are here for me and care (a lot!)

I will be back, as soon as I can get myself up to quilting some more. I think that would be good therapy for me.

New Month, New Things

Since I last blogged here, so many things have happened! A new month, I have marked another year on my calendar of life, my oldest daughter has been to see me and has gone back home. (Boo, sniffle, sniffle)

There was NO sewing at all done the last ten days...another boo sniffle, sniffle, but that was for a perfectly fine reason; my daughter was here. I went completely off my diet. We had a barbeque the day before my birthday and that started the ball rolling. Since my daughter is a foodie of sorts, she and I continued to eat our way through the week.

We did a lot of exploring. Mainly around here, one beach and a lot of stores. I did manage to spend a ton of money at JoAnn's Fabrics, because I had a coupon, so...I had made her the surprise gift of a mermaid afghan. She showed it to everyone on her Facebook page and I got three requests for one! These are all women who have grown up with my kids so I am making them each one in their choice of colors. (Guess what I am doing for the next couple of months!!!)

Today I woke up, made my coffee, and crawled back in bed to watch my favorite program...CBS Sunday Morning. I can't start my Sundays without that. Afterward, I got up and started sorting out the recyclables, and took them out, then took the compostables, then the garbage. Came back in and washed my dishes. Then I went out to feed the outside critters. After I got them fed, I filled up the gas tank on my riding lawn mower, plugged in my favorite music, put on my headphones and mowed about an acre and a half of knee high grass and weeds. The horses can't keep up with the growth and I have to have it at a low height come summer time when it dries out and everyone is doing their fireworks. I'd like to keep my house!

Tomorrow I am going to plant my vegetables finally. I still have seeds to start inside the house. It's been way too wet outside for seeds and still pretty cold, so I think I can start now. I definitely have to get the plants in the ground, they hate their little pots they are in and I have to water them pretty often to keep them alive.

I can now start the processes I planned on for when I got my balloon payment from my house in CA. I am going to get those dentures that snap in! Buy my RV finally! Build an enclosed patio and a catio next to it, put real stairs to my loft instead of the metal spiral staircase. (I can't get up and down that thing very well). I am moving my sewing room up there so I have space and...I am putting wood floors downstairs so I can keep the house cleaner with all the critters that live inside with me. Rugs are a big no-no with these dogs! Also, I am going to start looking at modular homes to put on the other parcel that I own, so I have a good income from renting that out. Plus, both of my trucks need to see the doctor! Ack! Can you say, " the rest of May is full of appointments?"

Sorry this is a picture poor post...I am on a new faster computer and I haven't gotten any pictures on it yet!
Wish me luck! I will be posting some sewing soon. In spite of all the things I am going to be starting on, sewing will be my grounding. Something tangible to hang onto, while all the craziness starts!