Monday, March 29, 2010

ACK!

It's been a while hasn't it??? Sorry. I was here all the time, I just wasn't present. The past month has been a roller coaster ride of sorts and I have finally gotten myself off the ride...for the most part.

What set me on the roller coaster ride in the first place was a move I HAD to make but was afraid to put into motion. I had to ask my middle daughter to move out. Several people encouraged me to do it. Police, my medical doctor and my psychologist...yes I now have a psychologist, are amongst the encouragers. What I had to do was so hard, but she was not trying to grow up and out of here, she was just partying in her little house in the back and bringing all sort of mankind around. Some of them less than what I would call good citizens. So for my safety and the safety of others who live here, it had to be done.

Of course, taking this step plunged me into a depression, hence the psychologist. She and I have been working together bi-weekly since January actually. I have meds, which is really helping me be level mooded. (is that a real thing?)

I am happy to say that I am happy! For a change. I am feeling as though there is something I can do here at home and out there in the world. I do not have a brain full of chaos. The house is no longer chaotic as well. OD and I will be the only residents for now. We will be able to plan out our schedules of cooking and cleaning and paying bills and buying food and going out and coming in. It will be nice to know what to expect!

This morning I got up and did the usual cup o' java and the computer. I got tired of sitting so went into my craft room and decided on some fabric to make a little cover for my Kindle. The prices for the ones from Amazon are fair, I just don't want to pay those prices. I am making one from materials and things I have around here, so it is kind of "free". I just had to spend some imagination.

I took pictures, and tried to put them on the computer, but the computer and camera apparently had a falling out and aren't speaking. Literally. There is NO communication between the two of them. Awkward! Imagine being the third party in a situation like this...

As soon as I can get the two of them to reconcile I will send along pictures of my creation. I like it. It's really cute.

Hope you are all having a wonderful week!

7 comments:

annette said...

Good for you! It is always hard to swich off the mommy fix everything mode even with grown kids. I am going through dealing with a daughter that is making less than steller choices. But like you I have decided to love her but not enable her any more. If she grown up enough to decide theese things good or bad, then she is old enough to take care of herself.
You have done the right thing enjoy the peace and quiet.

Caution Flag said...

A good therapist is worth whatever it is you have to pay. I'm glad you're feeling better. It surely has been a traumatic time for you.

Hope your computer and camera work out their differences quickly!

Lisa said...

OH you will never know how inspiring you are. Things have changed big time around here as well. So tough on the ole heart huh? But it has to be done. Where did we go wrong with this generation of kids? It sounds as if you are doing very well, I am so glad to hear that. Stay in touch, hugs!

Dani - tkdchick said...

Oh Claudia! I am so happy for you, it sounds like you're working life out and learning to be a happy person! That is just so important to be happy!

I hope everything contunues to be downhill from here for you and I get to read much more uplifting posts like this one!!!

Micky said...

Glad that things are going better for you.
:)

stitcherw said...

As usual, I'm behind in my reading, good intentions but somehow I just never seem to manage to keep up. Your earlier post of the hats and scarfs were wonderful, they turned out great. Sorry you had to get sick to find the time to finish them, but looks like there was some upside to it. Hope you're feeling totaly better by now. I'm so sorry about your daughter, that would be incredibly tough. You've tried so hard and it still came to this. However, it sounds like the right decision for all of you. Hopefully this will force her to grow up and take responsibility for herself, and it will give you some piece of mind if you're not worrying about all the situations (and potential situations) having her there is creating. Hang in there, things will right themselves, it just takes time. {{hugs}}.
Sue

Coffee Bean said...

When our oldest daughter ran away in Jan 08... we started seeing a counselor right away! We don't see him all the time anymore but we do whenever we need to. I also went on meds for awhile. Some things are just so hard to get through!!! In the fall I will have been off of them for a year but if I feel myself going back into that pit I'll take them again in a heartbeat. You've got to do what you've got to do!