I. AM. PISSED.

Warning...may include some nasty swear words, not for the feint of heart, I'm not going to apologize for any of this. So, if you don't want to read major rants and raves, STOP READING NOW.

And I am not afraid to admit it. Damn the effing powers that be. DAMN THEM all to hell. No. Really.
My eyes changed color today. It doesn't happen often, and although it may be intriguing, it's NOT a pretty sight.
I know, I know, you are wondering if I have gone off the deep end. You are wondering what in Heaven's name I am talking about aren't ya?

Well, I'll tell ya....

First off. The eye color change. It is temporary. I didn't know this happened until about five years ago, when someone told me it happened. This person had the guts to stand in front of me one time when I was raging...RAGING mad. The look on her face was precious and I almost lost my rage, but I didn't. Then she told me..."Your eyes changed color when you got mad!" I wasn't mad at her, she was listening to me when I was talking about an incident. So, then I knew. People could tell when I was absolutely died in the wool, ragingly pissed off at them. GOOD I say. Let them know I am serious. I hope that when it happens they piss themselves, cause when I am that mad, I want something to snortle about afterwards.

Next history...my bosses told us all last year that the insurance premiums were going up. Okay fine, shit happens, a problem, but something we all just have to live with. Then they say (because they love us all so much) [YEAH; RIGHT] BUT, we are going to do this...we are going to change your coverage so that the premiums stay the same, but you will have to pay a $50 co pay when you go to the doctor. You bring the receipt back to us and we will cut you a check for $35 to off set what you paid at the doctor. This way we will save money and there will be no more out of your pocket than you have already been paying. Everybody leaves the meeting happy. (Okay, smile now)

So. I went to the doctor yesterday. I paid my $50. (Which, by the way I had to BORROW) I take the receipt back to the boss. Well, the accountant. She told me I would have to wait til the boss comes back to sign the check. No problem. Until the boss comes in. He says, "No I am not writing a check. She will have to wait for her next paycheck." The accountant came downstairs and relayed the message. I had to wait several minutes before I could go ask the boss what he was doing. (Cause swearing would have happened)

He gave me that same song and dance that all bosses are so good about. "You misunderstood what we said at the meeting, we could change your coverage so that your premiums are higher but you only pay the $15 co-payment. I could let go of several or all of our employees so that I save money by hiring stool pigeons to do your work, I just bought a fourth store and we are going under and I am floundering here, why don't you feel bad for me? I just got back from Hawaii and God it was hot and I was so miserable. We can do what you want, but things are going to change after that." Oh beside the fact that they want to put my $35 in my paycheck and TAX it AGAIN...no shit, I would get about $31 and change. It was some mumbo jumbo about medical premium advance something-er-other.

My response was, I didn't buy all those stores, I didn't go to Hawaii, I was here working my ass off in the store, doing what I do best...selling stuff. I did not misunderstand a thing. I don't do financial stuff, I don't understand that, what I do understand is that I was told one thing and now I am being told another.

I got my money, in cash, just after I clocked out for the day. Now I have to find the letter that they gave us at the time they told us about the changes. And then I go to the labor board. I am thinking this is highway robbery.

I'm feeling passively threatened about my job. The way he said, we could just "let" people go and hire yeah, I said it...stool pigeons. Go ahead asshat! Make my day. I could use the next 6 months off with pay to develope my business at home. I'm not backing down, I will stay and make them do what they said they'd do, I will fight. I'm to old to let their idle threats bother me.

BUT I am still PISSED!

Elton is in the house!

Actually "Elton" left the house. My oldest is on her yearly adventure with a friend. They are driving down the coast to surf other waters. This maybe their last year to do this for a while. OD will (hopefully) be going into her Respiratory Therapist Program after this summer. IF she can get the funds! It's going to cost her about $9000 for the classes, books, fees, etc. and she was turned down for a loan. The $9000 doesn't cover the cost of living and transportation to and from school. She will be going full time, so working a part time job like she's been doing won't cut it, and she needs to study, study, study, so a job is going to be hard to do.
I'm hoping her grandparents will come through for her. All they have to do is
co-sign, after she starts working she will pay the loan. (Which is a scary thought, because what if she doesn't get work after she graduates???
Anyway, I hope they have a blast on their three week trek down the coast. (Her friend's parents are going too, so I know they are relatively safe...else I would have been a little nervous)
She's been gone for under twenty four hours and I already miss her!

I Have to Make a Change!

That's Tootsie up there. She has nothing to do with me needing to make a change. I just like the picture and thought I would share.

As for me making a change, well, that is what I need to do. I have tried in the past and failed. I mean, I am in charge of my life right? Why can't I make myself do what I need to do? Is it down right laziness? Is it fear of success? Is it that I don't know what I think I know to make these changes? It may be all of the above. Or none of it.
What got me to thinking about this now is that I just spent the better part of my day making myself a tunic. It's just a plain ol' shirt, kind of cute...for me. Different than what I normally would wear these days, but what I would like to wear, instead of all the stupid T-shirts I get cheap and then wear out in a year. I made it in a size I figured would be roomy so I could wear it to work and have plenty of movement space. But NO! I finished it except for the hemming and little embellishments I was going to do. I tried it on and Oh HELL no! It is as tight as it can get!
I HAVE to lose weight. I have to get on that bandwagon and take care of myself. I don't know what is going to make me follow through. I do all that imagining how I could look with a few less pounds (who is kidding who here? I need to lose a lot more than a few pounds) I imagine how I will feel when I lose the weight. Maybe that is what is wrong; I can't imagine that far ahead! I am paying for WeightWatcher's online. I know deep down that I MUST lose it. If I am going to be around on this earth for a while I need to lose the weight. All of it. Every last ounce of it.
I do well for a while. You've seen it on my side bar. I lost some weight. Well, people, I put all that back on and then some. I am not giving up the WeightWatcher's online because I want to save the money. I am leaving it there and paying for it until I get my head out of my ass and use it.
Anyone got any suggestions!

I may not have been blogging, but I have been up to something. I crocheted the afghan in the pictures. It was a really fun afghan to stitch. My daughters even made comments about how I was sticking to it for a change! (Something I rarely do) I do finish things, but usually it takes a while to accomplish them. This, I just couldn't leave alone. I saw the beginnings of the afghan at
http://charmingly-wicked.blogspot.com/ and fell in love with the design. I am partial to Dragonflies anyway and this was just another way to work some into my life. I had the yarn already so I just started. It took a lot more yarn than I had on hand, so I kept having to go back to the store to get more. Which if you do any kind of stitching like this, you know is a big boo-boo. The last 20 rows ended up being an entirely different tone of white altogether. Damn! It is still pretty and will still be warm, I just don't feel as though I can gift anyone with it, so it will just have to remain mine! Darn! The whole concept of filet crochet was foreign to me. I thought it would be hard, but it was as easy as it gets. I am so glad that I attempted it in the first place! The pattern is Dragonfly Afghan Pattern from http://www.hassdesign.com/FiletCrochetDesigns/IP/FiletAfghans/ I paid only $2.50 for the pattern itself.
My sister took me out for my birthday last night. OD also went, because she likes any excuse to hang out with her old mom and Auntie. Plus, her "cooler than cool itself" cousin was going to be there as well. Cousin's boyfriend was playing in a band that we went to see. Go to:http://www.robincampbellband.com/ to see the band for yourself and hear a little of their music. Pretty darned fun! My ears are still ringing! We got home a little after midnight. I managed to get through my day at work. It wasn't too bad considering I had about 5-1/2 hours of sleep! It actually went just fine. I feel a nap coming on now, but I am going to wait til bedtime, so I can sleep.
That's it for all my fun in the last few days. Monday I have an appointment with a new doctor. I am going with a laundry list of things I have concerns over. Namely my feet, knees, hips. I think I should talk to a nutritionist and get some feed back on what they might consider a better diet for me. Maybe some pointers on cutting out my sugar intake, cause I sure can't seem to make myself cut it out. Maybe get them to do blood tests and make sure everything is working as it should be. I am tired of being tired and in pain twenty-four/seven