Haven't got the boxes...yet.

So much for organizing! I haven't remembered to bring boxes home from work, how the hell hard can that be? Geez! I'm practicing my breathing. Good air in, bad air out. Count to ten. Good air in. Bad air out. Count to ten.
It's MD and YD time again. Those two couldn't get along if their lives depended on it and they would still fight then, hoping that the other would lose. Can you divorce your children? Please tell me I can!!! Neither of them ended up where they ultimately should have, but one is not here, the other is.
Anybody got a deserted island I can rent? Please? I really, really want to go there. I'm a good quiet tenant! Really!
I am ready for a vacation. I am thinking about spending the way too high of a price for gas to go to my dad's cabin all by myself and just meditate. Except that it scares me to be there all alone. (It's five miles from any town and weirdos drive down his road all the time to do stupid stuff. I don't think I would want to encounter one of them alone.) But it may be a little better than staying here at this point in time.
That is all. I gotta stop whining

A New Day, Hopefully A New Way

I have been thinking a lot about changing my life style. I know; that is a big order. I only have myself to worry about really. There's no husband or other type of significant other, so it should be a simple thing. My kids have their own lives, such as they are. I can't be too worried about what they are doing, cause well, they are do what they are gonna do!
N.E.WAY...
I have a few things in mind and I am going to make a list of things to change. One of which is going to be my organizational skills. (Of which I have none right now.) Can you tell by how I jump around all over the place with my blog?
First thing I want to do is simplify my living. This I am going to do by getting rid of the ton or two of crap that I have around this house that I am not using. Tonight when I come home from work I am bringing boxes home with me to start packing up stuff I do not want, use or need. I am not giving this stuff away, I am going to have Monday, Tuesday garage sales. It getting to be summer, and I think I may still get people coming by to puruse my garbage, I mean treasures. If that doesn't work, I will try Craigslist.com or eBay. Then I will give the rest away. I need to jump start a savings program for myself, so that is why I am selling as opposed to giving at first.
Then I am going to try my hand at doing some clearing of theback yard. Remember way back when the Wonder Boyfriend turned dumbshit cleared out the back yard for me...OVERGROWN again! I am just going to have to take the bull by the horns and DO IT! Then I can start a garden of veges out there. And maybe by next year I can have some sunflowers too. I had them when I first moved in this house, and I think they would look nice in my sunburst vase.
That is enough of a start. Bear with me. I want to do this, I need to do this, I have to do this. Please encourage me, give me some hints and no no's. And whoever mentioned the blog "Down To Earth" ...you are an angel. That woman is a plethora of great nformation on simplifying your life! (Wish me luck too, I'm gonna need it!)

Well. There it is in all it's glory. The pics are not that great, but I have never claimed to be a very good photographer, I'm not even a mediocre photographer. I just suck at it. But I did want to show off what I think I can do. This is my first, so understand that the more I practice the better I will get. I am so happy how this turned out. and I got acclaims from the advanced ceramics students, that really made my day. And then when one of my fellow ceramics I students distracted me and stoled the vase as we were packing up, well, that told me all. I wasn't wrong, it turned out good. (she did give it back to me eventually, it was all in good fun and I appreciated the whole stunt!) One more day at ceramics. We clean on that day. One hour max. Now I am starting to miss it already. Thursday I was a little hesitant to go, because I was exhausted after work. I think with a summer off, if I rest properly and build my strength back up, I will be fine for the fall semester. Oh yea! The local *real live artist came in today. I showed her my raw version of my vase and all she said was, "I like." That is all I needed. *I'm not a real live artist yet. I haven't sold anything...that's MY definition. She also told me she wanted me to go look at some specific works from Korea, she thinks I will learn a lot from those. (Free advice from Arabella is special, people pay hundreds of dollars for her to tell them what to do.)

MD news...BWAHAHA! Finally, she is getting the repercussions she needs from outside the family. To her, one of us telling her the benefits of not doing what your P.O. tells you is just bunk. Because, we're stupid and need a life. She got a notice from her P.O. saying that she is in violation of her grant of probation. (um, MD told me it was informal probation, doesn't that mean you don't have to do anything on it? Informal means you are like playing Barbie dolls or something doesn't it? It's like pretend probation isn't it?) Sorry, 'bout the sarcasm, I can't wait until she realizes that we aren't all that stupid and reading the news and books and getting an education means you are privy to information like this. I KNOW what probation is, I don't have to be on it to find out!!!!!

Anyway, it's my Wednesday. I am through the bigger half of my week, it's all a downhill slide from here. Sat/Sun are the big Memorial Day Sales at Ace, well, anywhere you spend your money is the big Memorial Day Sale. If today was any indication, I'm screwed. It was crazy busy. BUT FUN!!!

A few catch ups

I finally got blogger to upload my sunset from last week. Or was it the week before? I don't remember. I actually pulled the car over to the side of the road for this one. All along the highway on my way home the sunset was beautiful, and I kept snapping pictures, but this one was the most intense in color and it wasn't blurred, maybe cause the car wasn't in motion!
My OD (oldest daughter) and I went to ceramics class last night. Actually we went at 3 in the afternoon thinking that we were going to get home really early. There was so much for both of us to catch up on that we didn't leave until nearly eight. Class is usually from 6 until 8:40. I finished three pieces including the vase that I so love. Keep your fingers crossed that it turns out half way decent. I will send along finish pictures. We get to see it Thursday, that is the next to the last night of class. We will revue our favorite/best pieces and have a potluck and turn in paper work. The next Tuesday night, is clean up, although there are a few people who have already started cleaning, so it looks like there won't be much to do.
Health wise, I am definitely better. I am not coughing except for a few little ones and not the long, I am running out of breath, types. I have so much more energy now. Saturday at work I cleaned out what we call the spool room. (Which is just like what it sounds like...everything on a spool, rope, wire, tubing) I re-spooled stuff that was hanging loose, put spools on their little spindles off the floor, restocked what needed it and ordered all that I could, of what we were out of. I have vowed to check it everyday, 15-20 minutes before I leave work, so it stays nice. Sunday I started a diagram of my department, so that I can "move furniture". I'm not 'feeling' the way it is now, and when I do "move furniture" people seem to find new things. Probably because they have to look to find what they came in for. But I always get good reactions when I move stuff.
At home things are pretty much the same. MD is still excusing herslf from regular behavior, OD is still getting on MD's ass for being one, and YD (youngest daughter) is just doing her thing and staying out of the line of fire. It gets pretty loud here at times. I stopped getting in the middle of the arguements unless I just can't stand the repetition of the words. MD just doesn't get that she needs to get off her duff and do something with herself and I just don't have an answer for pushing her off it. She steals food and bath products, as well as clothes from my OD, and me. She feels entitled to what we have and work for. How do you get it through the thick skull of a 22 Y/O that she needs to work for what she gets? She's blowing her probabtion by not paying her fines or going to classes ordered by the court. She keeps telling me that it's an informal probation, and that it doesn't matter when she pays or does the classes. Hmmm...when they say you have eighteen months to do this and that you will be off probation when you are finished with payments and classes, that is informal? And when you get a notice from the county saying that you can mess up your probation by not paying your fines, on time, you are two months late already? That's informal? I also found that she blew off the car dealer when they sent her a notice saying that they will be selling the car they reposessed, sometime after June 2 and that she will owe the difference between what they sell the car for and what she owed on the contract. She didn't understand until I read it to her word for word, and then I still think she thinks they didn't mean that for her. And BTW, some of her belongings are still in the car and it is going to cost her $10 plus $3 a day to pick it all back up. Her driver's license is in there, as well as her social security card. Now how does she expect to get a job without those? I haven't a clue what to do with her or about her. I can't just kick her out, county will not let me do that without an eviction notice and that costs $160. Not that I really want to kick out my child. Talking to her really doesn't do any good, because well, she thinks we are just stupid and haven't a clue about what we are talking about. She tells us we need to get a life! (snicker) Anybody with any experience or even without experience, if you have a suggestion or ten about what to do or say to get through to her, PLEASE let me have them!!!! I'm thinking about calling Dr. Phil.....

Dreaming and Drooling

I just spent the last hour and a half of my day off, looking at all the goodies on the Wii site. I heard yesterday about Wii releasing a Wii Fit. Tomorrow! I WANT it! I want a Wii, but I have to wait until Uncle Bush gives me my incentive check. Then I will own a Wii and Fit, and hopefully I will have some money to buy some of the other things I want to go with it. I am so excited aboutit!
Do I need to get a life? Is this a sign? Oh my.....

I Can Now Dance To My Own Beat...

Look at I did!!!! I figgurd it out, finally! Geez, please don't say I'm slow...I already know that!

Heard on the phone at work yesterday:
Middle Daughter (from now on known as MD): "Mom (pause) If I get a job, can I get a dog?"
Hm. You'll never guess what the answer was!

Just a little bit...

Today I feel a tad bit better than yesterday. I got a few comments from coworkers that they missed my coughing (NOT that they missed it missed it, but missed my coughing...oh never mind) I am on the mend! Oh shush...still not wanting to jinx it.
Um, I gave myself my own medicine cocktail...cough suppresants, allergy meds, high blood pressure meds, and amoxicillin. And at night before bed, Flonase. I think it's working!

Keep your fingers crossed.

Muy, muy Caliente!

O.M.G!!!! We are just not used to this. It was 85 degrees at the back outside of the store today. That is in the shade too. Yesterday was hot, but today was blistering! Did I say O.M.G. yet? It did cool off to about 81 degrees before I left for home, but home is always a tad hotter than work, and the doors have been pretty much closed up all day, cause well, it stays cooler that way. I have no clue what the temperature was when I got home. No way to measure it. There is never a reason to. It generally stays between 55 and 60 degrees, and we don't need to know that. It just is. I am not prepared for hot. If we want hot, we go to Clearlake and bake, but not at home and certainly not at work. I told my coworkers that I was getting ready to get into my Easy-Bake Chevy when I was leaving for home.
When I got to my town, (it's right on the beach) there were cars parked EVERYWHERE! I had to go to my bank and there wasn't much for parking in the shopping center lot either. Apparently everyone and their brothers, cousins, sisters, aunts, moms and dads, plus a few friends came over to cool off. What we call over the hill was in the 100's, I can't blame them, but damn all these people and cars and traffic must have made the temp go up another 5 - 10 degrees.
Naturally, I did not go to my ceramics class again. There's time for that when the fog rolls in. It should be in about the day after tomorrow, like clock work (on most occasions) We get three days of heat and then fog, glorious, cool, sting your sunburn fog. I love fog. It quiets things down, cools the earth and makes me feel better about everything. Sun is good but fog is better!
I'll leave you with a sunset from last night on my way home...
Well, perhaps not...blogger doesn't want you to see my sunset. Raspberry to Blogger!
Maybe tomorrow...when it's cooler....

Don't Want To Jinx It

BUT... I am typing lightly so as not to disturb the goodness that I am feeling right now. I did some initial coughing this morning. But now that I have gotten the "sleepiness" out of my bronchial tubes, I am feeling fairly decent and not feeling like I need to cough up a lung! I decided to take some antibiotics. I don't think those are what is doing it yet, I just started them this morning. But they may be what keeps this thing gone in the long run and then I will be giving Kaiser a (HUGE) piece of my mind. I blame the doctors there for the longevity of this problem I have been having. Really. It all should have been done and over with WEEKS ago. I should not have missed work, I should not be in the dire straights (money-wise) that I am in. I can tell full on that I am feeling better because I am charged up enough to want to take my life back and do it with a vengeance. I AM DONE WITH ILLNESS. I don't even mind going to work today, it will be a good day! So there!

I did not go to my ceramics class again last night. I am afraid to take a chance with all the dust that is there. Since I am seeing a change now, after missing two classes I have a feeling that it is part of what was helping the allergies along. I have purchased a couple of dust masks so that I can partake in the last two classes. One of the classes is a potluck and review of the items that we made though out the semester. The next (and last) class is clean up. I morally cannot miss that class because I don't feel it is fair that I get to join the fun and not the clean up. Then I am done for the summer. I may or may not take up the class again in the fall. I will see just how afraid I am to go back into allergy territory. I will try to continue the ceramics here at home. Once I am on my feet again monetarily, I can have a friend come and re-wire for my kiln. Then I can do it all at home, but there is so much I could learn before then. We'll see. Books are good.

I love my youngest daughter. (I do love them all. You do know that right?) She moved back in and then quietly and efficiently started cleaning up areas of the house that have gone fallow, because I haven't been up to it. I looked around this morning when I got up and saw that she had single handedly cleaned the entire house without a peep. And she manages to do her own thing and nap and play with her horse and take care of her boyfriend's schedule. She is untethered by rigid schedules and timeframes. She just does, as things come up and she is happy. I think her demons have left the building so to speak. Now, if we could just evict the middle daughter's demons, we would all be a little happier.

I am going to leave you with some pretties. These are flowers in my backyard that grow on their own God knows, if I interferred, they would be dead!

I will never ever figure it out!

And at this point why would I try?
Last December on a late night I get a phone call that younger daughter is chasing middle daughter around with her truck because 1) they've been out partying and both are being stupid and 2) there's an idiot (skanky) guy involved and 3) said (skanky) guy has "gone out" with both daughters. Fight ensues, I kick one kid out, should've done the other one too.
Fast forward to TODAY. The skanky guy is God knows where, and who cares anyway, the younger and middle daughter are in the younger daughter's bedroom as I type, painting pictures together. (!!!) (???)
Never mind, I'm not going there, it'll change tomorrow I am sure.
My oldest daughter and I went to the city today. (San Francisco) It's always SO much fun going to the city. I had to get the glaze to finish up glazing my vase for class tomorrow night. The kid had to go to her bank. We got to the place where the glaze is, but we drove around the block several times before we realized that we were where we were supposed to be. That city is so confusing. I never would go there, untill the oldest daughter started working there a few years back. I had to learn the ways around it cause from time to time I would have to pick her up at work. She doesn't work there anymore, but we have sort of figured out the place so when we do go in, we are not totally clueless. Then she took me out to lunch when we got back home. We went to the fish and chips place up the road a piece. I ate way more than I needed to or should have, but it was good.
I am not coughing as much as I have been. But then I have said that before. I am weak and not really wanting to do much of anything at all. When we got home I flopped down on my couch with my remote and tea and promptly passed out for a few hours. This evening has been good, although I haven't done anything but make myself some toast with honey. I promised my boss I wouldn't do anything on my days off, so I'm just keeping my promise. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to you all! I am off to work...it's my Friday. The boss is buying us moms pizza for lunch. YAY! I hope you all have a wonderful day. I'm gonna make mine good, come hell or high water!

Gettin' Better Every Day

It's true. I feel I am finally on the mend. I have cut out a few things, like getting up at the crack of dawn every morning. I HAVE to sleep until the last possible minute til I have to get ready for work. I am not going to my ceramics clas. My daughter brought home my vase and I have to go to the city to pick up some glaze to finish it. I will turn things in that I have done from home. I will go in for the last two classes though. One is for a pot luck and discussion of our projects, the other is for clean up night, I am wearing a dust mask. I will not return until MAYBE fall semester, if even then. That is disappointing, but if some of my allergic reaction is partially to the dust from the clay. I will still be able to do ceramics from home. I just have to get my kiln up and running. I will not stop creating!
So we will see how today goes at work. It should be better. I am coughing so much less than before. I may even be able to have a conversation with some customers!

Could it get any worse???

Okay? Cold? Check. It has left the building. Allergies? Check. Still got 'em. Pulled muscle from coughing? Check. OW! Hurts everytime I cough (which is a lot still), move, look, speak, pet the dog, just FRICKIN' HURTS. I stayed home today. Again. Will this ever end? Will I ever get back on my feet? (Body and Money wise?) I am so sick of not being able to do anything. Anything!
L left ceramics class really early last night. I won't be able to finish all of my projects, and at this point I don't give a damn. I won't be able to pay my bills, when I get my paycheck and I don't give a damn. I just don't want to cough anymore and I don't want to hurt. I don't even care that I am complaining again on my blog. Someday, somehow, I will get better and then I will say really nice funny things on my blog. Until then, BLAH!

Just Checking In...

I went to Urgent care last night, cause it was the only appointment I could get on my two days off. God forbid I should take any more time off work! I cannot afford it! At. all. period.
I got there ten minutes early, and they took me right in, did all the pre doc stuff, blood pressure (a little high) weight ( a little high, ahem) questions, questions, questions...then wait the ten minutes by myself in the little cold room with one of their lovely gowns on. Doc comes in, seems personable, questions, questions, questions. Look see, listen, more questions... Tells me I get more drugs, different drugs. Sends them over to the pharmacy online, TELLS ME go to the MAIN pharmacy "I have sent the prescriptions to the MAIN pharmacy." I go to the MAIN pharmacy. Wait. Wait. Wait. After sitting (Im)patiently for too long, I go up and stand in line to see why my name isn't up on the board yet. I give the person my paperwork from the doctor. The little girl behind the counter looks at me funny, and says, "Doctor send your prescription to San Bruno." So I say (in my nicest voice) "Why the fuck did she send it there, and then send me here!?!?!?!" That flustered her. I did not feel good, I was tired, and I did not like being in a room FULL of people who were coughing, spitting, sputtering sneezing, drooling....on and on and on...
She said, "We transfer, it be ready in fiteen minute." "Damned well better be"
Eleven minutes later...my name comes up on the board. I muttered "About frickin' time", went up to the same little girl. She has one prescription. Doc gave me two. I asked where the other one is. "I dunno, I only have one on screen, there is only one!" "No darling, there is supposed to be TWO" "Read the paper!" She reads the paper..."OH! I ask pharmacist" Muttering again..."yeah, go ask the damned pharmacist, and tell her I am sitting here waiting" Five minutes later...nothing. Ten minutes later...I walk up to the line again. Wait, get up to the SAME little girl, and ask her SO politely..."what's going on???" She goes over to the pharmacist and asks...comes back, "it in line to be pulled, fi minute, please!" Five minutes later, she calls me up. I get my prescription and I go home. (After consultation)
I am coughing less, but haven't stopped yet. It's better, but it's not great. Damn these allergies. I am also thinking that my ceramics class may have some to do with this thing I have. There is a lot of dust and I always seem to take a dive downward after a class. I am going to take the summer off from that and see if I can't keep the coughing to a minimum if not gone all together. Of course my blood pressure meds have a part in the coughing too.
Kaiser Permanente has changed my original doctor's position, and changed my primary care physician on me. So I have to go back in and get all reaquainted with someone new. I hate this, I like the same person over and over, not changing all the time.
N E WAY...That's it for my day. I honestly hope your days are all better!