Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Don't Want To Jinx It

BUT... I am typing lightly so as not to disturb the goodness that I am feeling right now. I did some initial coughing this morning. But now that I have gotten the "sleepiness" out of my bronchial tubes, I am feeling fairly decent and not feeling like I need to cough up a lung! I decided to take some antibiotics. I don't think those are what is doing it yet, I just started them this morning. But they may be what keeps this thing gone in the long run and then I will be giving Kaiser a (HUGE) piece of my mind. I blame the doctors there for the longevity of this problem I have been having. Really. It all should have been done and over with WEEKS ago. I should not have missed work, I should not be in the dire straights (money-wise) that I am in. I can tell full on that I am feeling better because I am charged up enough to want to take my life back and do it with a vengeance. I AM DONE WITH ILLNESS. I don't even mind going to work today, it will be a good day! So there!
I did not go to my ceramics class again last night. I am afraid to take a chance with all the dust that is there. Since I am seeing a change now, after missing two classes I have a feeling that it is part of what was helping the allergies along. I have purchased a couple of dust masks so that I can partake in the last two classes. One of the classes is a potluck and review of the items that we made though out the semester. The next (and last) class is clean up. I morally cannot miss that class because I don't feel it is fair that I get to join the fun and not the clean up. Then I am done for the summer. I may or may not take up the class again in the fall. I will see just how afraid I am to go back into allergy territory. I will try to continue the ceramics here at home. Once I am on my feet again monetarily, I can have a friend come and re-wire for my kiln. Then I can do it all at home, but there is so much I could learn before then. We'll see. Books are good.
I love my youngest daughter. (I do love them all. You do know that right?) She moved back in and then quietly and efficiently started cleaning up areas of the house that have gone fallow, because I haven't been up to it. I looked around this morning when I got up and saw that she had single handedly cleaned the entire house without a peep. And she manages to do her own thing and nap and play with her horse and take care of her boyfriend's schedule. She is untethered by rigid schedules and timeframes. She just does, as things come up and she is happy. I think her demons have left the building so to speak. Now, if we could just evict the middle daughter's demons, we would all be a little happier.

I am going to leave you with some pretties. These are flowers in my backyard that grow on their own God knows, if I interferred, they would be dead!


kim-d said...

Do you have ANY IDEA how happy I am to read that 1) you're starting to feel better, and 2) youngest daughter has made her way back home, just like I knew she would back at the beginning. And of course you love all three of them--not a doubt about it. I know for sure that I only get upset about people I love...

Just as with younger daughter, I'm sure the middle one will get it figured out, too. Everybody just has their own timeframes, and I truly believe that all that "middle child syndrome" stuff isn't a myth. She will come around eventually...RIGHT? RIGHT! :)

Just keep feeling better, dear Claudia


Love ya...

stitcherw said...

That's wonderful that your youngest is doing better. It is amazing the turnarounds that they can do at times. Sounds like she's not only finding her way, but also beginning to see that contributing to others is rewarding, it must have felt so good to see her helping around the house as you've been feeling to ill to do it. I hope that you continue to improve, she continues to find her way, and that your middle one can find her way back soon as well. {{hugs}}