Monday, June 02, 2008

Cruel, cruel summer.....

Okay sorry. I thought I was going to have a few very peaceful days because MD was implying hurting herself with a paring knife and I called the cops, yada yada, they took her away and she returned the next morning, because, well, she thinks she is fine and the mental place can't hold her against her will. BUT what about MY will? And stomach and job, and head and all that go with being my age and just kind of coasting the rest of your life cause you put time in already and you should be looking toward a future of fun and games...okay, THAT was a run on sentence.
Deep breath. I just came home from "over the hill" with YD. We went to talk to her PO. Wednesday, she lost it, as in MD taunted YD to the point where she broke lose and smacked MD a few times. MD called the cops, cops came, arrested YD and now she can't come home for at least a month, because of a restraining order. I DO NOT condone violence, but I understand what happened. I have had to learn to walk away too many times from MD and her mouth, attitude and the fact that she thinks everyone, probably you all as well, owes her everything, cause she is the middle child and totally abused by me, her dad and anyone else who comes into contact with her.
I called MD's PO as well, and asked what the hell is going on with her diversion thing and the PO explained. Said she understands where MD is coming from (like she doesn't have the maturity enough to do what she needs to do) and eventually going. There's nothing expected of me, because MD is 22 and should handle this herself.
The second PO gave me paperwork and said cut her loose one way or another. Eviction or rehab houses. I have all the parts in front of me and will be going into her room in a moment to ask her to come in. I will show her both piles of paperwork and tell her this: "This pile of paperwork is for an eviction. This pile of paperwork is for a rehabilitation opportunity. If you choose rehab, you will be taking care of virtually EVERYTHING in your life up til now. Court enforced drug school, NA meetings, job training, and help with finding a job and keeping that job. If you choose eviction, you can face the streets...alone...no support, no warmth, no nagging mother and father.
My stomach is fucked up, my migraines are starting back and I cry, because I can't not cry. YD bought me breakfast and made me eat it this morning. I left work yesterday, because I was so overwhelmed by all this I broke down. I am so finished with it all. And today may be the beginning of the end for my turmoil. Please pray for me.....I will let you all know. And thank you for hanging by me...I'm such a soap opera these days.

4 comments:

claudia said...

And I titled that cruel cruel summer, because the song was playing and I feel it will be a cruel cruel summer, if something doesn't go in the right direction.

Debbie in NC said...

I only have one 21 yr. old son and I cannot even fathom what you are going through. The tough love theory sometimes seems to be the only way you can maintain your sanity as it rips your heart apart.

You will be in my prayers, hon. Hopefully, just the beginning of the summer will be bad....

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Praying, praying, praying...

You are a strong woman and I admire your ability to keep youe head on whil you endure this crisis.

Know that you are thought about often.

Hallie

Coffee Bean said...

I will be praying for you! We have been going through it with our 19 year old... I know well the pain of having a child bent on destruction. Hang in there!