Sunday, April 27, 2008

So it's Sunday and nothing has changed

On the allergy front, yes there has been change. The Flonase is working, and like the doctor said, it's not a miracle, but will take a couple of weeks. I am still coughing, but not half as much as I had been. My sore throat is no longer, but I still have no energy. I think that has to do with other things going on.

In regards to my middle daughter, nothing has changed. I won't go into detail, because it is just a lot of whining and pissing and moaning. At least I can say that I got two out of three right, the middle daughter I will blame on my ex. Don't get me wrong. I love her. I just don't like who she turned out to be. I wish I could slap some sense into her, but she's 22 and she knows more than all of us put together. Every time I have a discussion (and I mean an adult conversation, explaining my thoughts on her world) she tells me I am just stupid, my older daughter the nursing student is just stupid, her dad is just stupid...well, wait he is...

She is in a spiraling downward trend. A life shattering when you hit the bottom trend. A when you screw up the next time it could be the most devastating thing this family has ever experienced trend. And I cannot stop her. Cause well, I am just stupid.

I never see her. She sleeps all day, parties all night. The only reason I know she still exists is that I see her car gone and then I see her car here. I see food disappearing, I see dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. I get phone calls at work asking for money, I get messages on my cell phone telling me how she will just never get a job, because I won't help her, cause well, I am just stupid.
I know this is a trend...The terrible twenties. (and you all thought terrible twos were bad!)

I get little hints about what is going on with her. Of course she is not the one telling me what she is up to. My older daughters boyfriend tells her, then she tells me, my younger daughter tells me what she has heard and then there are these letters from Dept. of Motor Vehicles with notices of licence suspension because you didn't tell us about the accident stuff. And the phone calls from Toyota saying we really want the payments you owe us for the car. The OOPS, you don't have insurance on said car notices, and on and on.

I will most likely be faced with her today. I am off. She is in her little room, sleeping, or passed out, whatever you want to call it. I have nothing more to say to her. Cause well, I am just stupid. Her dad, came down from Washington state, to help out his motorcycle club at an event we had here on the coast yesterday. He has known about his daughter's spiraling downward for months now. I kept him up to date, when I asked him for help. Our house was his first stop when he got down here. But she wasn't here. He said he would come by the next day, told her to be here when I got home from work, then bailed on us when the "CLUB" asked him to stand by, cause they had visitors from out of town coming in. He did manage to stir up the pot over the phone with her before I got home from work. But she wasn't here either when I got home. (she had partying to do that he was holding up, she wasn't about to wait for me)

I know for a fact, that she is drinking...A LOT, that she has taken some drugs and that she's a freakin' idiot and is driving under these conditions to some extent or another. I have to stop her. HAVE TO!!! I don't want her hurting herself or God forbid someone's child or grandma or grandpa, or just some bum on the street at the wrong time. Please pray that I can find some help somewhere. I have tried everything.


kim-d said...

Oh Claudia. I am really, really sorry. Too bad you can't slap her ass in rehab, although--what with her being so smart and all--it probably wouldn't work. I know, it's like watching a train speeding towards a brick wall. Unfortunately, it's not YOU who needs help. SHE needs help, but she's unwilling and unable to get it--more the unwilling than anything because, well, she's so darn smart and she has it all under control. I personally would kick her ass out and then be there to help when she gets "dumb and stupid" enough to know she needs help, but that is "drastic and tough-love-like" and that's just me. I'm just so sorry you have to go through this with her. It sounds like things are going good with youngest daughter, anyway--and oldest daughter? Well, good thing for her, huh? Sigh...

(((((((BIG HUG)))))))

Love ya...

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I am so sorry I havent left you a positive comment before now. I've been so caught up with John I forgot that other people have issues too.

You are NOT stupid. You are a mom at a loss as to how to kick some sense into her kiddo.

I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Stsy strong.

Hallie :)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Glad my disgusting facts mad you fondly reminisce about the old Hallisicle. She's not quite back but she's starting to re-emerge slowly!!

Hallie :)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Where are you? I'm worried!


stitcherw said...

I'm so sorry, I wish I could send you a warm hug and drop kick your daughter to get her act together at the same time. It is so hard to see what they are doing with their life and not be able to get them to see it. It hurts so much, as well as being so frustrating that it makes you incredibly angry too. Hopefully she'll wake up and get her life together before she crashes. However, you need to be careful and take care of yourself. She's old enough to make her own choices. You're not stupid and you can't blame yourself in anyway for her stupid choices. However, if you don't take time to care for your needs, and put what's important to you and the rest of your family as a priority, you're going to have a whole other set of problems. As Kim said, you may need to have her leave. Her poor choices are beginning to bring the repercussions of her actions back to your home. If you're not careful, you and your other daughters may end up paying part of the price of her stupidity. {{{hugs}}}

kim-d said...

You doin' okay, Claudia?


Love ya...