It's You, Not Me

That thought just kept running through my head yesterday. I was in a really weird mood. Could've had something to do with the fact that my ex-man called the night before just to see how things are going. (???) Okay, I am wondering what ever gave him the right to know how things are going NOW. He didn't pay attention to anything for years. Oh well except, IF my middle daughter called him and "told on me." I will explain that. If she wanted to do something that cost a lot of money or I deemed it dangerous, or stupid for a girl her age or what ever and said no, she'd call him and tell him that I was singling her out and letting the other two do something but not her. Well, I'd get a call from him wanting to know why I was doing that to her, why am I such a mean person, why do I single her out? My reply to him..."Cause I know it just pisses you off. Why do you call and ask these things when you know she tells you horrible stories so you'll tell me I have to say yes."
He went on and on while "seeing how things are going" telling me his tales of woe. Let me tell you, he has a whole set of encyclopedias on his tales of woe. And you know, not one thing is caused by anything he has ever done in his life. It's always been the government, the city he lives in, the weather, wife (me) and plenty of girlfriends. For years I allowed him to blame me for all the woes of his being. I know now that I had nothing to do with that, but it tooks years to believe it. Now we get a call every once in a while. "How are things with you and the girls? This is what is happening to me."
Oh Well!
He informed me that he is losing his Social Security. He may have something set up with a friend for income and should be okay. He has a small place to live in and that's a good thing. He also said he is going back to the "Program" and is actually heading a meeting. The last thing he said is, "I'm going it alone this time." Well, knock me over with a bolt of lightening! He has always, I mean ALWAYS had a girlfriend who I suppose was there to save him, or give him an excuse for his problems. If he stays with this plan, he may figure out that it has always been him and not other people who caused his problems in the first place. I think I am in for a lot more phone calls.

Then yesterday, Wonder Boyfriend got under my skin. He has been deligently cleaning up the back yard. Wonderful, say I. But he did this thing and I started wondering what the heck he was doing. He piled up a bunch of gravel and was washing the dirt out of it. Okay, I get that, but he piled it up in a way that when it rains the water will just accumulate on the back patio. I told hime that it is supposed to rain this week and to make a couple of channels to let the water drain off while it is raining. He went out and started rinsing off the gravel again, not making the channels I asked for. So, figuring I didn't explain myself right, I went out and said there's no reason to rinse off the gravel, the rain will do that. Just cut the channels and let it go for a while until it stops raining. I went back about my business, but I kept hearing the water running. I went and looked and he was still rinsing gravel!!!!! So I opened my bedroom window and just screamed at him. Turn the damned water off, that's water I have to pay for, dig the channels, and shut the water off, the rain will wash the gravel. GRRRRRR. He finally shut the water off and left. Then I was thinking, oh crap! Now I have gone and done it. I am going to have to go dig the channel myself. Oh whoas my back. He came back later and dug the channels. (I still had to go out this morning and clean it up here and there, but the rain will drain off now.) I think this is why I haven't found my own boyfriend, I don't play well with others!
I'm better this morning, but I still have that, it's not me, it's you running through my head.